Life ever Changing

This last week like always has been interesting! So Monday we went to the zoo with Matt. First time this year. It was really fun! Pete had to push me around in a wheel chair just so Im not standing too long. The doctor said I need to take it easy. Also, this marked the day that I had Matt. So passing this day was an awsome accomplishment. Tuesday and Wednesday I went to work like any other day. Then Wednesday afternoon I had another doctors appt. Turns out my cervix was measuring shorter again and was starting to thin. So my doctor told me if I keep it up with working, I would be playing with fire. So I am home again on bedrest. But the good news is, is that on Friday morning, we closed on our new house. And today, my family went to Cherry Hill. I took Matt with me. Luckily, my family was great and took him around while I just sat. (Im being good) I dont want it to be my fault if the baby comes early. It was a long day but Matt had alot of fun and that is what matters. Pete installed the A/C unit in the house and the painters came and the appliances were delivered. So excited to move in and get settled. It will be great. Also the laptop I was using went out. So Pete was nice and bought me a new one so I could have something to do during the day while Im home. I love him. He is so supportive. I could not ask for a better husband. He works very hard for me and he is in school full time. I dont know how he does it all. Well its late and I need to get to bed. Good night!

Back to work

I went to the doctor and she let me go back today. I still have to rest alot but Im able to work and make money. It was ok the first day back. Very tired from waking up early. Got used to sleeping in. Not doing my FHA certifying anymore but if it makes less stress on my body, Im ok with that. I want my baby to be healthy.

Im so irratated about our mortgage loan. It is taking FOREVER! I just want to close. I want to be in my own place really bad. I really really hope we can close next week and move in the last week of July but who knows with how long HUD is taking. Well enough venting for today. Need to get some food. See ya later.

Bed Rest: Week 1 done.

Well it has been a week of bedrest. I went to see the high risk doctor yesterday. They did another ultrasound and they said that my cervix is measuring 2-2.3 cm. They said that is still below normal but that could be normal for me. I asked if they thought I still needed to be on bed rest and they said probably not and that I could probably work part time but I would have to consult with my OB. If I could go back to work, that would be great. It would make things alot easier. Plus, Im going nuts being home all day cooped up in bed. Dont get me wrong, I love being able to sleep in and see my son, but I cant really play with him. I am grateful for my inlaws and all the help they have provided but I am ready to be in my own place again. I also need A/C. Im dying of heat being pregnant with only a fan to cool me down. I am hoping that everything will get sorted out by tomorrow so we can get closed on the house and work on getting everything moved in. And if Im not on bed rest, that means I can help with some things. Im super excited because I am now 25 weeks and 2 days. I know that is not very far but in the terms of bed rest and having mat at 27 weeks. Its just that much closer. And the sooner that I pass 28 weeks (because that is what Matt measured) it will be even better. I might have to celebrate every week. Im really hoping I get to 35 weeks. That is what my doctor is hoping so I will hope with her.

Also, if anyone can show me how to follow blogs??? I cant figure it out. Thank you. Im new to this.

Bed Rest: Day 1

Well day one is just about over. I have to head up to the hospital to get my second steriod shot. Hopefully everything is still all is well. I like to sleep in but sitting in bed all day. I need to get more hobbies I guess that dont require moving. Im glad it is Friday but also am bummed that I have nothing to do. I guess I will get to finish all of the 5 books im currently reading.

Matt is hanging out with me right now watching Pink Panther. He has been so good today. I think he understanding that something is different. He is such a good kid. Im so happy he has grown so healthy.

Well hopefully I will find something fun to do but one thing that does make me happy is that this girl is a kicker, I have been feeling her all day. And her kicks are getting stronger. Maybe its the steriod shot from last night but I can feel her very well. Thanks for all your support!

Bad news,

Today I have been mixed with some many emotions and fears. I had a doctors appt. today. I am 24 weeks and 2 days. 3 weeks from when I had Matt. I went in for a normal check up to come out to be told I would have to be on bed rest from 4-8 weeks. Talk about a wrench. I dont know how to feel. I am scared. Today's appt. was the first that Pete was not able to come because of the scheduled time. But it turned out to be when I needed him the most. Luckily, when they sent me to L and D that he was able to make it up to be with me. I had done most of my crying by then.

There is so much going on right now. But I think the worst part about the whole thing is the fear that I wont be able to hold my little girl when she comes like normally some one would be able to. With Matt, they rushed him away. I feel incapable of carrying a baby. No one in my family has had problems. I honestly dont know how to feel. I dont know how to cope. So this blog will be my out to express myself honestly and openly.

I had a lesson a couple of weeks in Sunday School. They spoke of Heavenly Father giving us trials to test us and to help us rise up. Sometimes we dont understand why we are given these tests. When Matt was born, I didnt know how I was going to make it through. I cried and I hated that I couldnt be with him all the time in the hospital. I felt like I was a bad mom and he is now 3 1/2 and I still feel like I dont have the connection with him like Pete does. I know that he knows that I'm his mom but when you have 20 nurses taking care of your baby and you cant, Im sure you can imagine how I might feel. They told me that he might be behind and not learn as fast. I didnt want him to feel that way. I didnt want him to grow up thinking he couldnt do what others could because he was premature. He is so smart now. I feel like he is ahead of where he is and that makes me a proud mom. But, then I think of my baby girl and how I can emotionally do it all again. Heavenly Father must know that I could do it if I need to. I hope I can be strong. I hope I can do it and be the best mom I can.

I am so grateful for Peter and my family. They gave me a blessing tonight and I am so happy to have the priesthood in my life to be able to recieve those blessings. I have the best husband and he is more supportive than anyone I know. I love him more each day and this makes me love him even more. Im so glad I didnt let him slip away. I love you Peter.

Good night everyone.