Busy week!

Well this last week has been verrrry busy! On Tuesday we moved our beds over and over Thursday, Friday and Saturday got everything out of storage and unpacked. Thanks to all my family and friends who helped when they knew I couldn't. Im so grateful because I couldnt have done it alone. Im also very grateful for friends that I work with. They have generously brought me pre-made dinners and stuff to keep me occupied. Its nice to know that so many people care. Its been hard being on bed rest. Normally I think people would think that would be awesome, I can get stuff done, have time off of work. But I cant do anything and that is the frusterating part. I really do feel lazy. My doctor said if I get to 36 weeks, she will let me go back to work. I just pasted the 27 week mark. That means, I still have 2 months to go. And dont get me wrong, Im not complaining, its just hard. I know it is worth it though. I am dialated to a 1 though so we will see how it pans out. In my eyes, every week past 28 weeks is a mile stone. So I am now 1 week past and it has been a long week. But I also didnt have TV or internet until today so maybe the days will go faster now. I feel like I'm getting bigger now too. It seems Im having a harder time breathing as well because she is starting to take up more room. Its so weird because I feel like Im supposed to be done being pregnant because of before. It seems like it is taking a long time. LOL. It seems so silly but I do. I have never even looked this pregnant or felt the symtoms Im feeling now. I know I jump alot on here but just looking around my house, literally everything is put away except for 1 box and some pictures that need to be hung on the wall. I didnt even have that in my old house that I lived in for 2 and a half years. Crazy how easy it is to get stuff done when you have lots of hands helping. Im glad I wont be moving for a long time. I realized the trains bother me a little bit but hopefully I will get used to them. Well I have officially lived in my house for a week. That went by fast. I havent been to church because of the bed rest but Pete tells me we have a great ward. Small but very nice people. I also found out that an old co-worker is in my ward. So I will know someone and that makes me happy. Its always easier going when you know someone already. Im wondering how bad it would be if I just went to sacrement and then went home. I would still be sitting. I just would really like to go. I havent been in 3 weeks, went 1 week before that and didnt go for 2 weeks before that. So I dont feel like Im getting my spiritual fix. Pete has been reading his scriptures every morning. I need to do that. He understands them alot more than I do and that is why I would rather read with him but Im grateful that he has a strong testimony. Well that is all I have for today. Will keep you updated as things come up! Have a good night.

Life

Do you ever take a moment to realize everything that has changed since you were little? The experiances that you have had? The person that you have evolved into? Looking back I wouldnt change anything in my life. The mistakes we have made shape who we are. People who we have dated to know what things we want and what we dont want in our spouse. I've had people tell me that Im crazy for getting married at 18 and having a kid by 20. But sometimes I wonder that if they were in my shoes if they would have done the same. I feel like I was always in a relationship throughout my school years. And when I met Peter, he had everything that I wanted and I didnt want to let him go just because I was in high school. You cant let things or people pass you by. Peter and I have had our ups and downs but I think that is what makes our relationship that much better and more special. We have grown so much in the last 6 years that we both love each other more than the day we got married and we respect each other more. I dont think I could ask for anything different. I wouldnt want to be with someone where we dont have our disagreements. How do you grow if you dont have differences? When one of us if having a rough day, the other is always there to help in anyway we can. When one of us is frusterated with our son, the other is there to pick up the slack. We just fit. I love him more than anything. And in less than a month we will be celebrating our 6 year anniversary. Its gone by fast but thats ok. Im sure there will constantly be changes, especially when he has alot of pharmacy school left but thats whats great about life. Im not a big fan of change all the time but it helps me grow as a person. Remember when you and spouse are fighting and you feel like your done, what it was that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place. And if you feel like they have changed and are not that person anymore, remember to look at yourself and see if you are the same person that they fell in love with. Grow together! Dont grow apart. Do things together and be supportive. Life has to work for both of you and sometimes he will make sacrifices for you and vice versa. Embrace change and live life to the fullest. You can still have dreams, just have dreams together. Support and always be there! Have a good day everyone.

Bad news.

Well the doctors appt didnt go so well. Doctor said Im dialated to almost a 1. Normally she said this wouldnt be a problem except that the fact of the other problem of my cervix funneling as well. I cant tell you how frusterating it is. I know I cant do anything but what do I do when I can see in my husbands face how overwhelmed he is. I know he isnt mad at me but I just feel bad putting on the stress of life on him. The laundry is piling up, we have to move, we need help moving, muscle and just arms. How is he supposed to do it all with two tests this week, one being a final for a chemistry class with a teacher that is horrible at teaching. I dont want him to not get an A because of everything. I also dont know how to ask people to take time out of their day to help around Pete's schedule this week. Its just frusterating. I also dont know what to do with work. I feel frusterated with that as well. I feel like I'm not getting anwsers and everything I need to do with pay..... grrr, I just dont know how to do it all. How am I not supposed to stress and worry???????????? How do people do this? Matt seems frusterated as well and neglected. Anyone have advice?

Countdown process begins

Well it is Monday and it is the week of finals and it is moving week!!! Soo very much excited. I dont know how Pete is going to do it all but I appreciate him. I also go to the doctor today, so we will see what happens. Hopefully everything had gotten better or stayed the same at least. Pete is talking about moving over the stuff in the bedrooms first and the couches. I will need to go grocery shopping as well, so I will have to see if someone can take me and I will ride in the cart and have someone push a bigger cart for me. I want to relieve as much stress from Pete as possible so he is prepared for his test. Then he starts work full time next week. So things should get better from there. Ill keep ya updated.

Life ever Changing

This last week like always has been interesting! So Monday we went to the zoo with Matt. First time this year. It was really fun! Pete had to push me around in a wheel chair just so Im not standing too long. The doctor said I need to take it easy. Also, this marked the day that I had Matt. So passing this day was an awsome accomplishment. Tuesday and Wednesday I went to work like any other day. Then Wednesday afternoon I had another doctors appt. Turns out my cervix was measuring shorter again and was starting to thin. So my doctor told me if I keep it up with working, I would be playing with fire. So I am home again on bedrest. But the good news is, is that on Friday morning, we closed on our new house. And today, my family went to Cherry Hill. I took Matt with me. Luckily, my family was great and took him around while I just sat. (Im being good) I dont want it to be my fault if the baby comes early. It was a long day but Matt had alot of fun and that is what matters. Pete installed the A/C unit in the house and the painters came and the appliances were delivered. So excited to move in and get settled. It will be great. Also the laptop I was using went out. So Pete was nice and bought me a new one so I could have something to do during the day while Im home. I love him. He is so supportive. I could not ask for a better husband. He works very hard for me and he is in school full time. I dont know how he does it all. Well its late and I need to get to bed. Good night!

Back to work

I went to the doctor and she let me go back today. I still have to rest alot but Im able to work and make money. It was ok the first day back. Very tired from waking up early. Got used to sleeping in. Not doing my FHA certifying anymore but if it makes less stress on my body, Im ok with that. I want my baby to be healthy.

Im so irratated about our mortgage loan. It is taking FOREVER! I just want to close. I want to be in my own place really bad. I really really hope we can close next week and move in the last week of July but who knows with how long HUD is taking. Well enough venting for today. Need to get some food. See ya later.

Bed Rest: Week 1 done.

Well it has been a week of bedrest. I went to see the high risk doctor yesterday. They did another ultrasound and they said that my cervix is measuring 2-2.3 cm. They said that is still below normal but that could be normal for me. I asked if they thought I still needed to be on bed rest and they said probably not and that I could probably work part time but I would have to consult with my OB. If I could go back to work, that would be great. It would make things alot easier. Plus, Im going nuts being home all day cooped up in bed. Dont get me wrong, I love being able to sleep in and see my son, but I cant really play with him. I am grateful for my inlaws and all the help they have provided but I am ready to be in my own place again. I also need A/C. Im dying of heat being pregnant with only a fan to cool me down. I am hoping that everything will get sorted out by tomorrow so we can get closed on the house and work on getting everything moved in. And if Im not on bed rest, that means I can help with some things. Im super excited because I am now 25 weeks and 2 days. I know that is not very far but in the terms of bed rest and having mat at 27 weeks. Its just that much closer. And the sooner that I pass 28 weeks (because that is what Matt measured) it will be even better. I might have to celebrate every week. Im really hoping I get to 35 weeks. That is what my doctor is hoping so I will hope with her.

Also, if anyone can show me how to follow blogs??? I cant figure it out. Thank you. Im new to this.

Bed Rest: Day 1

Well day one is just about over. I have to head up to the hospital to get my second steriod shot. Hopefully everything is still all is well. I like to sleep in but sitting in bed all day. I need to get more hobbies I guess that dont require moving. Im glad it is Friday but also am bummed that I have nothing to do. I guess I will get to finish all of the 5 books im currently reading.

Matt is hanging out with me right now watching Pink Panther. He has been so good today. I think he understanding that something is different. He is such a good kid. Im so happy he has grown so healthy.

Well hopefully I will find something fun to do but one thing that does make me happy is that this girl is a kicker, I have been feeling her all day. And her kicks are getting stronger. Maybe its the steriod shot from last night but I can feel her very well. Thanks for all your support!

Bad news,

Today I have been mixed with some many emotions and fears. I had a doctors appt. today. I am 24 weeks and 2 days. 3 weeks from when I had Matt. I went in for a normal check up to come out to be told I would have to be on bed rest from 4-8 weeks. Talk about a wrench. I dont know how to feel. I am scared. Today's appt. was the first that Pete was not able to come because of the scheduled time. But it turned out to be when I needed him the most. Luckily, when they sent me to L and D that he was able to make it up to be with me. I had done most of my crying by then.

There is so much going on right now. But I think the worst part about the whole thing is the fear that I wont be able to hold my little girl when she comes like normally some one would be able to. With Matt, they rushed him away. I feel incapable of carrying a baby. No one in my family has had problems. I honestly dont know how to feel. I dont know how to cope. So this blog will be my out to express myself honestly and openly.

I had a lesson a couple of weeks in Sunday School. They spoke of Heavenly Father giving us trials to test us and to help us rise up. Sometimes we dont understand why we are given these tests. When Matt was born, I didnt know how I was going to make it through. I cried and I hated that I couldnt be with him all the time in the hospital. I felt like I was a bad mom and he is now 3 1/2 and I still feel like I dont have the connection with him like Pete does. I know that he knows that I'm his mom but when you have 20 nurses taking care of your baby and you cant, Im sure you can imagine how I might feel. They told me that he might be behind and not learn as fast. I didnt want him to feel that way. I didnt want him to grow up thinking he couldnt do what others could because he was premature. He is so smart now. I feel like he is ahead of where he is and that makes me a proud mom. But, then I think of my baby girl and how I can emotionally do it all again. Heavenly Father must know that I could do it if I need to. I hope I can be strong. I hope I can do it and be the best mom I can.

I am so grateful for Peter and my family. They gave me a blessing tonight and I am so happy to have the priesthood in my life to be able to recieve those blessings. I have the best husband and he is more supportive than anyone I know. I love him more each day and this makes me love him even more. Im so glad I didnt let him slip away. I love you Peter.

Good night everyone.

Changing Times

I cannot believe it has been so long that I actually forgot I have a blog. So much has changed. Matthew is now 3 1/2 and we have a little girl on the way. I will be 23 weeks on Tuesday. Peter is now in school at Weber State to do his pre-requisits (spelling?) for pharmacy school to become a pharmacist. Im so proud of him for going back to school. Then end of March we sold our house to get something cheaper while Pete is in school and living with his parents. We just got an accepted offer from HUD on a townhome. We will be working on the loan process now. Life has changed.

Being pregnant again has my worries and fears coming to life. It brings back memories of when Matthew was born. I feel like because of my fears, that is why I have waited so long. Matthew was 28 weeks when I had him and Im almost 23. Every week I get closer to that scares me. They have me on progesterone shots that I have to take once a week. I just pray that they will work and every week I get past 28 weeks will be a miracle. I just hope I go full term. I really want to hold my baby after she is born. That was the worst part about when Matt was born is not being able to see him. Just them rushing off with him. First time I saw Matt was a picture Pete took on my cell phone because I still had the epidural and they wouldnt let me go. Not the most typical situation. I am happy he is healthy though. He has grown so much and such a big kid and so loving and incredibly smart. I am so happy to the point we are at. He has been in the hospital every year up until this year. What a milestone! I know its weird but dealing with a baby that gets sick all the time is so hard. I know everytime he gets sick its stressful. Its amazing to me how I got through it. The lord surely helped me during those times. I will be forever in his debt for blessing Matt how he has.

As for me and Pete, we are going strong. This September will be 6 years!! I cant believe it has been that long. We have been through some pretty tough times. But I have to say, I love him more now than I did when we got married. He is very sweet to me. He is very understanding and puts up with my mood swings. ( Im sure the pregnancy hormones make it worse) He is even kind enough to give me those shots every week. He has seen me at my worst, that is for sure. I couldnt have asked for a better person to understand me. And he is the best dad in the world. Well signing off for the night. Will be better at posting.